EP69 | Team Growth: Embracing Struggle & Responsibility!

Do you want to know how to challenge leaders to foster a culture of responsibility and ownership from day one? Drawing parallels from his rodeo days, Zach emphasizes the transformative power of struggle and the vital role it plays in personal and team growth. He critiques the common leadership pitfalls of coddling and rescuing team members from their challenges, instead advocating for a space where individuals can stretch their capabilities and embrace the discomfort that comes with genuine growth. Zach's message is clear: stop shielding your team from struggle, let them stand tall in their responsibilities, and watch them—and yourself—thrive in the arena of leadership.

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TRANSCRIPT BELOW:

Isn't that what you want? For people to show up. With a sense of responsibility and ownership and power in initiative. That's what I want.

Zach Arend: Welcome back to the arena today. I want to talk about. Something that I think can really help you improve your business. Your team, if you're a leader, a manager, or even if you have kids, this principle that I'm going to share with you today. I think it's a little revolutionary. Like most people don't think this way. At least I'm not observing that they do.

And what I am finding though, that there are so much freedom. That we're able to create for ourselves in each other when we live life and lead from this place that I'm going to share with you. And this is coming from a guy who grew up riding horses, did the rodeo. I was 11 years old when I saddled my horse 11 years old.

And I remember the day, like my mom always used to saddle my own horse, but the day that I saddled my horse, Change to me. I grew up that day. Because I took responsibility of something that I had, everything I needed. To do it. I just had not done it yet. And I did it that day. And from that point on, I was riding a little taller in the saddle and my mom never had a saddle, my horse again, and this is all about creating a culture of responsibility of ownership. In our businesses on our teams as a leader, as a manager in our homes. Are you being somebody who is. Inviting people and creating that opening for people to be responsible. Because far too often. That's not what we're doing. Far too often.

We are. Carrying around.

This thing called responsibility on our back, and we're not sharing it. We're not allowing people to be responsible for the outcomes in their own lives. For the outcomes in the business. And I get why you're right. Especially as a leader, a manager or a business owner, right. It's scary to let go and relinquish some control and trust somebody else.

You're taking something that's important to you and you're entrusting it to somebody else. It's understandable that it's hard. Yet. If you are hiring a team and you're working with a team and you're starting to get into a position of leadership where you no longer are doing all the work and you have a team below you. Then I really want you to listen to what I have to share with you because I have the opportunity to sit in so many rooms over the last three, four years with leadership teams. Highly paid high-performing executive leadership teams. That have been doing this thing called leadership for decades. And this is the number one hardest thing for them to see.

And I think grateful because I have, I get a seat at the table, but yet I'm not. In the arena with them per se. Like I'm not in the thick of it. And so I'm able to see. Differently then you are able to see oftentimes when you're on the field playing the game. And the number one thing I see is people. Taking responsibility and ownership away from those that are working with, and for them. And that's hurting them more than helping them. And so I want to talk to you today about how do you help your people truly be responsible because

isn't that what you want as a leader, a manager, a business owner,

 isn't that what you want? For people to show up. With a sense of responsibility and ownership and power in initiative. That's what I want.

And yet we complain because we don't always get that from people.

And sometimes. We have reasons to complain, but I don't like to live like that. I like to be responsible myself and I'm inviting you to be responsible. And what that looks like is. Asking yourself, how might I be contributing to this lack of responsibility and ownership of an initiative from my team? My, my team doesn't speak up in meetings. Oh, really? So I'm not going to help you fix your team.

I'm going to, we're going to talk about you. How might you be contributing to your team? Not speaking up in meetings, because the way I look at it, you don't have any other option. You can't control everybody else. You can only control you. You are responsible. You have to be, and responsibility kind of has this. iT incites blame, like I'm blaming you well, your, the problem and that is not. If that's what you're hearing. That's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying you have an opportunity to be responsible. If you have an opportunity to respond to what. It's happening. And if it's not what you want, you have an opportunity to respond. Always you are able to respond. You are responsible. That's what I'm mean when I'm talking about responsibility, I'm not blaming you because you're quote unquote, doing a bad job.

That's not the point. I want to see you step into your power and take ownership of every single situation you find yourself in. And here's the thing when you take on that way of being that I am responsible of everything that happens in my life.

And you actually start to see the truth in that. And I'm not here to argue with the, yeah. Well what about this or that? And, well, some people, They don't really have a choice and that.

I'm not here to argue about that. I'm here to say that. This is a useful idea. It is a very useful idea that I believe will serve you and will serve humanity. You'll serve the world. If we take this on. And that is this idea of being responsible. So how do we do this? So. So I've been talking to you about, okay. tHe mistake we tend to make as, okay. Yeah. That's right. Leaders are responsible taking ownership, baby. That's what I do. That's I'm the leader. If it's to be it's up to me, and this is where we get ourselves in trouble, because we start to blur the lines of responsibility. We start taking responsibility for other people and the outcomes other people are to create. And. That is where we get all crossed up. And by being this way by taking responsibility for other people in the business by. Putting pressure on your back to quote unquote, take care of people. it's your responsibility. That doesn't work. Because.

Freedom is responsibility. Think about that for a moment. Freedom is responsibility. Like the weight of freedom has weight. Like I felt it for the first time. Like never before, when I left. My full-time employment, my paycheck to step out on my own and build my own business freedom, baby.

Whew. Freedom is responsibility and that has weight. But I think there's something about that weight that really makes us come alive and calls forth the best in us. It's been true for me. And it's probably been best. It's been, probably been true for you.

But here's where we get ourselves in trouble. When we believe freedom just, it is. It leads to entitlement. Entitlement is like this relinquishing of all responsibility. And that is where we get ourselves in trouble.

And when you start treating people. As if you're responsible for them, you're putting them in a position of entitlement and even a little bit of victimhood. Because if you put yourself in a position that my job here is to take care of my people. Well, what does that say about who your people are that they need taken care of by you?

People are powerful. What if, again, I'm not here to argue. I'm just like, what if what's the truth for you here? People are powerful. Okay. So if they're powerful, they can take care of themselves. Now this isn't an invitation to be at an a-hole. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying though, is we put ourselves in a position of being a parent to grown-ass adults in the workplace.

And then we wonder why everybody's complaining that their burnout and. There's this kind of culture of victimhood that we're experiencing, and I believe we're creating it in how we're leading and managing our people. And I know this to be true because it's a lived experience for me. One, I was that victim. You wouldn't have known it.

Like people would've never called me that. But all I was living my life from a victim position. I was complaining, I was tolerating. I was angry at a lot of people around me. that's victim hood. I'm giving away my power. That's how I'm defining it. I was giving away my power. And I realize for the first time nobody's coming Zack, like you need a salad, your own horse.

Nobody's coming. And that's when. I took my life in my own hands. And I started to see. As I stepped into the arena of leadership coaching and working with leadership teams that, oh my gosh. As leaders, we tend to take away the responsibility and ownership. And so I want to. Shine a light on this for you.

Like, how might you be doing this? And there's several things that I'm seeing recently just in conversations and Some of my clients have found this conversation very helpful. I'm going to share it with you. There's three things. And the first thing I wrote down is start on day one. If you want your people to be responsible, you have to start on day one.

I'm talking about like their onboarding when they join your team. Start on day one. How do you onboard somebody? Because.

What I see often is, oh, I've got to, get them partnered with a mentor. Right. Let's get them the mentors and let's get them a. Paired up with somebody and let's give them a training program and let's help them. And we like spell it out for him. Like every jot and tittle is spelled out from him. We've got a weekly mentorship meeting with and then we, and we've got these onboarding sessions and we're just there to make sure they feel like, they know what they need to do. And. THe intent is great.

And I'm not saying we should just throw people in the arena and say, yeah, good luck. That's not what I'm saying, but it's how we do it. Cause we bring them into our organizations and then we tell them exactly what they need to be doing over the next 60 days. I need you to talk to this person and I need you to ask them these questions.

And then I need you to go through this training. So you know how to use this system. And then I need you to build blood burn. And I need you to Shadow for a week. And we're like telling them what they need to do to learn their job. And. I think we are.

Dumbing down. What's possible because I was kind of, a team I'm working with. I kind of brought this to their attention and I'm like, well, Zach, if you came on board our company what would you look for training? And I'm like, that's an interesting question. I said, I would be looking for. Like a 60 day. Checklist, I would want you to tell me what are the outcomes I need to be able to deliver on at the end of 60 days. Zach, I need you to be able to explain our XYZ process.

Zach, I need you to be able to log into these portals, Zach, I need you to, be able to. And then give me like a weekly touchpoint with you. Because as I go through this, I'll have questions. I can't quite who should I talk to about this or that, but I would want you to put me in a position of ownership let me create these outcomes because here's what we know.

People come alive. They like they're the most driven, they're the most motivated they're most en engaged. When they have autonomy. Meaning they have choice in how something gets done. We are ripping away on Tonomy with our people because we're telling them exactly how we want it done. And we don't trust them.

So we tell them exactly how we would do it, and we kind of just expect them to do it exactly how we would do it. And I'm proposing if you just give them the outcome, this is what I want to see. I want you to be able to do and demonstrate and deliver on X, Y, Z. What questions do you have? Cool.

Great. I'll be available every week. Let's put some time on our calendar. Let me know what you need from me. Go get them, like that's what I would love. And that's what I'm suggesting. But instead what we do is we hold their hand. We literally believe we need to hold people's hands. I, and I'm suggesting that is the very thing.

That's creating people. You are creating people that needs their handheld because you are seeing them that way. So start on day one is your onboarding. Cultivating responsibility and ownership. And how might that be a great filter?

Like, if you have a new manager, who's going to be responsible for leading 3 like 12 people. And an important part of your business and they can navigate the first 60 days by figuring things out and asking questions and learning through talking to people throughout your organization.

Then. Sign says they're probably not gonna do well on their role. And isn't that great that you can use your first 60 days? Not only the train them, but to help them see this is how I see you. I see you as powerful. These are the expectations. I'm not going to coddle you. I'm not gonna hold your hand. I want to work for a person like that.

I don't want to work for anybody, but if I were to work for somebody I'd want to work for somebody like that, because that autonomy is so important. So. Start on day one, because that sets the tone. We're not holding people's hands. NUmber two, be aware of rescuing.

This is, well, this happens in day one, but it also happens. Throughout the lifetime of a team member is as the leader. The moment we see somebody struggling. We don't let them struggle. We are all over that. Is soon as you see struggle. I was in a meeting recently. And somebody made a statement, but he put a question mark at the end, it was just kind of this we were talking about priorities for the quarter and he's like, I'm going to do X, Y, Z. any he's like, I need your help. I'm going to do this and I'm like sitting here.

I'm like, God, that was pretty clear. I don't understand sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. I'm confused. And so I asked him do you need help? And he's no, I just think we should do this. And I'm like, what does everybody think? Yes. Sounds good. But because he ended with a question mark, because he wasn't sure of himself. Like three of the leaders were like, oh, well, what are you trying?

And they were like trying to help him. And it was awkward. Cause I'm sitting here. I'm like, he's got it. He's got it. He doesn't need help.

And as a leader, my job is to help him see, like you got it. I mean, don't you think you do? I mean, if not, I'd love to help you, but I think he got it. And I, it's like game on and, but we don't do that. As soon as we see someone struggling or a little unsure of themselves. We're like, oh no, they're unsure of themselves.

They're struggling. I need to help them. Here, how can I, here's what I think you should do. And then they're like, okay. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah. Okay. Huh. And here's what's happening. You are allowing them to be safe. It is there. It is they, and I'm not judging them because we have all of us have it.

It's that fear of what other people think of us? It's that imposter syndrome. It's just that self doubt coming out in. Trepidation and hesitation and tented, tentativeness. Should I be doing this? What do you guys think? Is this a good use of my time? And all they're looking for, right. Is like a little bit of safety and yes. But. We've been taught to get help. And. I'm just suggesting that I don't know.

I just see through that and I'm like no. You got it. And then I see them like their chest kind of lifts up. They sit a little taller in their chair and yeah, I think I do. But then I also kind of see a little bit of the pressure. I just put on them. But they like it like. By me saying, I think you got it. Yeah, do that. They're like, okay.

It's oh, game time, but what leaders do is they jump in, they rescue, they coddle, they see the person struggling. And so they allow that person to ask less of themselves. So instead of doing what they wrote down, they do a 10th of it because the leadership team's what if you just, did a little research first this quarter and see what you learn. And maybe start there and it's oh my God, like the person just said they want to get it done in the next 90 days.

And we're like, why don't you just do some research on it first? Like just let them run. Maybe say, yeah, I'll do it. And, but just, if you don't mind present your recommendations before pulling the trigger, but I love your energy. Go for it. We need to do that. Stop rescuing people, let them struggle.

And as they struggle, be a great coach. You got this. I think you've got, Because what on the surface, it's just self doubt. You're familiar with it. Cause we started this conversation with about being responsible. You're familiar with self doubt. You're familiar how that. Behaves. Uncertainty unsure of yourself.

I'm a little tentative in how you communicate with others. I mean, that's how I was at times. So when you start to become more aware of how that shows up in yourself, you start to see it in others. And you're like, oh yeah. That's what growth looks like right there. Struggling, like unsure. Should I really take this on. Yes, you should go for it. Oh shit.

Oh man. Pressure's on now, but it's what I've wanted. I'm not actually burned out. I'm bored because I'm not allowing myself to go play full out and give it all. I got. Instead, I'm unsure of myself and therefore everybody else treats me like I'm unsure of myself. And then it it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. And now I'm just trying to do what everybody wants of me.

And that leads to burnout. Because you're trying to please everybody else, but yourself, you're not listening to your own heart and your own mind, that's telling you go for it. So, okay. I'm feeling like I'm ranting a little bit, but. I want you to let people struggle. Because that's what growth looks like.

And the other conversation I hear often with leadership teams, it's like, how do we develop our people? How do we get these people? Like succession planning, like who do we have as the next level leaders? How are we going to train them? And then we bring in some training person, this. Teaching disc and emotional intelligence and leadership competencies.

And we got this checklist and. And I'm like, good God. We just can't let people struggle. Can we've got to spell it out for him. And half that stuff doesn't even work. There's tons of statistics to say leadership training, usually for the most part falls flat. And that's why I just choose to, even when I'm training leaders and doing workshops, I'm putting people in the arena. client of mine we're in the car. Earliest week shared with me.

He's w what I love about you, Zach, is you put people on the spot. And I'm, that's what I'm suggesting as leaders. We need to put people on the spot. And as long as we continue to listen to all the headlines around, oh, people are burnt out, they're overwhelmed and we got to take care of them. You will not put, you will stop putting people on the spot. And now you are Furthering the issues. Now you're treating them as if they're fragile to the point where they respond to that and oh my God, I think I am fragile.

Wow. I think I am burnout. I've found that when you ask more people, it just like breaks, loose some the burnout and overwhelm, because now they're playing a bigger game and they have, yeah. They get experienced their own growth again. And makes sense that scary. I mean, it's scary for me.

I'm sure it's scary for you. It's scared for them. Light up. Let them struggle. Okay.

That's what I wanted to share with you today.

 What are you hearing from this message today?

I'm checking in with myself. Because I love people. I love, it's why I do what I do. And what I love most is taking somebody who is unsure of themselves. But it has this like massive talent within them. Like their geniuses are creative geniuses. And I'm seeing them struggle. And when everybody else is wanting to give them a hug or a hand them a tissue or a rescue them. I kind of. Kick them into the arena a little bit more.

I just, I love that little push. Into, yeah, I think you should do that. And then watching them come out the other side and it's they're a new person. You can do that for your people. You can. But you're going to have to be willing to well, be uncomfortable watching them struggle. Now at the same time being there for them, for sure. Support them. if they have a question, you're there for them to help them think through it, but we don't wait for them to ask a question.

In fact, we get uncomfortable. I ask them if they need help, but they don't have any, they. I ask them if they have questions, they didn't have any questions. I mean. They have. They should have questions. Maybe they don't have any questions. Maybe they don't need you. Right now. Oh, that can be uncomfortable kind of manager, but that's what it can like.

Maybe they don't need you right now. And that's okay. They will. They're going to love you because you're allowing them to step into the arena. So your takeaway here is. I'm going to suggest that you start looking at, what does it look like for you to play a bigger game, to get into a bigger arena? What is you elevating your role in the business?

Look like doing things that scare you. Like I want to see you struggle. Like in a way that's going to cause you to grow and thrive. And while you're busy doing that. Growing struggling, thriving. You get to expect more of everybody around you. And it just becomes the rising tide lifts all boats. That's what I'm here to support you with.

And I hope that's how you're hearing this message today. That's it. Thanks for listening. If anything, just take one thing from this short episode and in apply it with your team. Ask more of them. Let them struggle. And also I invite you to find your struggle, find your bigger arena. And get back to growing who you are. Thanks for listening.