EP 78 | Lessons from the TEDx Arena: Crafting Authentic Leadership

 In this episode of Being in the Arena, Zach Arend shares invaluable insights gleaned from his experience delivering a TEDx talk. From the power of having a co-creator to the importance of embracing a "shitty first draft," Zach provides a roadmap for anyone embarking on a creative endeavor. He challenges the notion of time constraints, urging listeners to focus on intentionality over arbitrary deadlines. By getting the talk "on its feet" and refining it through experimentation and editing, Zach illustrates the transformative journey of honing one's message. Tune in for a compelling discussion on creativity, collaboration, and personal growth.

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TRANSCRIPT BELOW: 

Zach Arend: Bring your full self to the game and nobody will question you. Be unapologetic. 

Nobody will question you. They will follow you. 

 Welcome to being in the arena. This is a podcast for executives, entrepreneurial leaders, artists, creators, mavericks, those that want to be the ultimate leader of their lives. Today I want to share with you 10 lessons that I learned from doing a TEDx. If you've been following along, you've probably heard that recently I was in Youngstown, Ohio to get my first TEDx ever. And I spoke on what I'm calling a modern leadership solution called "saddle your own horse." It was speaking directly to leaders and employees of organizations and how we all have a responsibility for creating an environment where everyone saddles their own horse. And I just got to say it was a three to four month journey of writing and creating this TEDx. It was one of the most coolest things I've ever done in my life. 

 It was also extremely challenging. And I just wanted to share 10 lessons. 10 things that I took away from the experience that for sure apply to writing a TEDx or creating anything. 

And I think the principles that I have to share with you, the lessons I have to share with you, they have some universality to them. 

These principles, I think apply to a lot of areas of life and a lot of areas of leadership. And that's, why I'm excited to share these with you today. So let's just, let's just go through these. I don't know how long this will take. I've got 10 of them here. And I just want to share a little bit of my perspective, what I learned. And again, as always, when you listen to these, don't listen as if it's about me. 

Listen as if it's about you and, and how might these principles apply to your team, your business, how you show up as a leader, or maybe you are creating 

a talk or trying to deliver a message to your company. I don't care what it is. These 10 lessons apply to it. So number one. The first thing that I learned is the power of a co-creator. Having a co-creator. That one...

I can't imagine getting this TED talk to where it was without a co-creator. That was the first thing I did is I started working with a story coach who really helped me get clear on my ideas. And she helped me kinda sift through all the noise. And we found the gem within all the junk, if you will. And that was the first thing. 

Get a co-creator gets somebody that's able to sit with you and work with you and think with you and create with you. Because there's something magical that happens when you have somebody able to mirror back to you what they're experiencing. What lands for them? 

So that's the first one, get a co-creator. 

So if you're a leader, a business owner, if you have a team and you're, you're a manager and a business, do you have a co-creator? And I'm not talking about a mentor. That's what she did not do. She wasn't mentoring me. She wasn't even really consulting me. She was creating alongside of me. And it's hard to explain, but it was her and I coming and working through all of the ideas and material that I brought. And so in your organization, in your team, or any creative act, who do you have in your corner willing to be with you non-judgmentally in helping you just think through your ideas and helping you work through them? It's powerful. If you don't have that type of person, seek them out. Reach out to me. I will help you find the right person for you. You need a co-creator. Not a mentor, not a consultant, not even really an advisor, but a co-creator. Someone who's willing to roll up their sleeves with you and help you work through the tough stuff. That's a co-creator. Number two. 

This one was powerful because when you set out to write or create anything, whether it's a book, a TED talk, a keynote or a company, you don't always know exactly what you want. You don't always know. I didn't go into this TED talk knowing exactly what the message was. I had an idea. But I didn't really know. And so one of the first steps I've learned to do, and I did this when I created my keynote, the keynote that 

I deliver to companies 

and, you know, at 

conferences and events, 

and I did it with my TED talk. 

The first thing we did was kind of metaphorically speaking, fill a box with ideas, inspiration, stories, everything, and anything just goes in this box. For me, I didn't have a physical box, but in apple notes I had a folder and I just dumped every quote, every book, every idea I had, every personal story, and I just started collecting things. And it was interesting as I collected. 

And you you'd probably find if you double clicked into there today, there's hundreds of things in there. But what you would 

start to see is some themes 

arising. And that was the first 'aha' for me, it was just letting go of the outcome, even letting go of writing the darn thing and just letting several weeks go by where I'm just kind of grabbing for inspiration. Things that inspire me, personal stories, 

everything just went in the box. 

That was powerful. 

So again, if you are trying to achieve a big goal in your business, on your team, trying to create something, tap the brakes when it comes to like 

getting started and executing 

on it, just tap the brakes for a moment. Let yourself slow down to speed up and really sift through some ideas, collect different perspectives and ways of going about it before you take action. Not for a very long, I mean, I would suggest set a timeline because some of us can spend our whole lives getting ready to get ready to get ready. 

But what I'm, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying like, agree with yourself that I'm going to spend the next week 2, 3, 4 weeks doing nothing, but just observing, listening. Trying to pay attention to what wants to occur, what is a rising, based on the stuff that's catching your attention. Inspirations, ideas, letting it fill a box. So that's the first thing. Besides getting a co-creator. 

Number three is what Steven Pressfield calls the shitty first draft. You have to write the shitty first draft. 

I don't care what you're doing. I don't care if it's a business plan or some initiative you're trying to roll out with your team or a TED talk. You have to start with a shitty first draft. Whatever you start with is shitty. It sucks. It just does. And you've got to get it out. You got to get something on paper, because now you have the clay that you can start to mold and shape and cut and get rid of. But you don't have any of that until you just get that shitty first draft out of you. 

I'll be honest, that was the hardest part of this whole process, writing a shitty first draft and the whole time just judging myself and what I'm writing like "this is crap." Like "I should back out of this TED talk." Seriously. I had that thought numerous times. Like, "I don't think I... I don't really have anything to say. I don't know. I don't, this isn't good."

And it was a combination of that, the inspiration, the box and the co-creator, that gave us the materials for what eventually became the TED talk. And to be honest, a lot of it got cut out, shifted around. It changed, but nothing would have occurred unless I would have done that shitty first draft. And that's the same for you. If you're a business owner, if you're a leader, if you're a creative, you have to get started. 

You have to get something out of you on paper, on the white board that you can start playing with 

and molding and 

shaping. That's called what Steven Pressfield calls is the shitty first draft. You've got to do it. And embrace the 

ugly zone, embrace the discomfort, embrace the suck, because you're going to look at it and you're be like, "this sucks." And something we've been talking a lot about in our home with my daughters is, you know, whenever you begin anything for the first time, you suck. 

And so my daughters oftentimes come home from a first day of class like "I'm not any good at this. I can't do this." And it's like, yeah, of course you can't. This was day one. So, if you think you suck, great! That just makes you normal. But we're, we're a family that gets better. And it's interesting. Every time we keep showing up every time I kept showing up for this TED talk, it got a little bit better. 

So that's number three, get that shitty first draft out of you and on paper.

 Number four. 

Number four, the lesson was time is irrelevant. Enough time, having enough time? Look, I didn't have enough time to do this TED talk. I did it. The second 

I started writing, we decided 

to move our whole family to a new city. And I didn't have any time. In fact, I couldn't find my laptop some days. And then the new year kicked off and I had full day sessions with leadership teams and coaching sessions and events and I had no time. 

I had no time to do this. But it's interesting that it got done. And in a way, not having time, I think, really served me. And I'm kind of curious how this might serve you because by not having time, I didn't have enough time to really stress over it, to mull over it, to look at it and second-guess myself. 

All I had to do was just get to the next step and be ready for my next call with my co-creator. That was all I focused on. It's just getting to that next step. "Okay. Okay, Zach, edit it, clean it up. We got to get it down to, you know, thousand words or less. Okay." That's my thing for the next week. 

And look, I sometimes had to get up in the morning, evenings, but I got it done. And what I'm learning 

about almost everything I've created, time is irrelevant. All it is, is a story in my own head of either I have time or I don't have time. That's all it is. And I'm learning that every time that I go into, "I don't have enough time," all that creates is overwhelm, anxiety, nervousness, stress, and I have to get myself out of that state to actually create. And so I'm learning that the whole time story is bullshit. It's a waste of time to think about how much time you have. And I'm not going to say, "look, we all have the same amount of time in a day" because frankly, I don't believe that's true. 

I mean, some of us have kids, you know, some of us don't. 

Some of us are CEO's of companies, of multiple companies. We don't have the same amount of time. So I think that's a bunch of BS, but we have our intentions and in any given moment, we get to choose what we focus on. And if you're choosing on how overwhelmed you are and how much you have to do then typically when that's the case, you're not doing a whole lot of anything. You're not grounded and you're not present and you're not able to create anything. 

And so what I'm learning is I have to get myself out of that story because the story doesn't serve me. It's, a story that I'm making up. Nobody has time. if you really look at it, I mean, I talked a lot of people and nobody says, "gosh, Zach, I'm doing great. I have all the time in the world."

Nobody says that. So let's just make time irrelevant. Whatever you're trying to create, this is a matter of what's your priority and setting some intentions and just taking steps and consistently showing back up for it. That's number four. 

Number five is I had to get the talk on its feet. Get it on its feet. This is something my co-creator told me. She's like, "Zach, it's time you just get this thing on its feet and see what happens." Because at that moment, they were just words on a page. They seem to flow, but until I got it on its feet, meaning, stepped inside this little makeshift circle that I have in my basement and start rehearsing it and speaking it as if I was in front of an audience to actually see how it feels and see what comes out of me. In a way I'm lifting the words off the page, not reading the words, not reciting a script, but just kind of lifting them up. Playing with them, dancing with them and starting to find my own natural rhythm in what I'm trying to say. That, probably number five, getting it on its feet was the most powerful thing I did. And again, most people listening to this, probably aren't writing a TED talk, but you're probably creating something in your life. You're probably a striving towards some big goal that you've never done before. I've never done a TED talk before. Getting whatever it is on its feet is powerful. So, how can you start to talk about and play with your ideas with other people?

You know, bring it to life. Another way I got it on its feet is I shared a lot of the stories and a lot of the messages in front of my clients and they didn't even know it. I would just kind of mentioned little nuggets, things I was thinking about. I didn't tell them like, "Hey, this is what I'm thinking about. What did you think?" 

I just would share it. And everywhere I went was kind of like an open mic night. It's just like, I'm going to try this. Let's get their thoughts. "Does this resonate with them? Oh, it does. Ooh. It resonates with me too. Let's keep that." 

"Oh, you know what? That doesn't resonate with people. It resonates with me, but you know what? I think I need to get rid of it."

Getting it on his feet is, I like to think of it as like running some experiments and playing with it and seeing what works and what doesn't. That's something you gotta do. You've gotta be willing to do that. 

And if you're trying to be perfect, you'll never give it the space to just have it on its feet and play with it and start with the imperfect and let it turn into something as you're working with it as it's on its feet. So that's number five. You've got to get something in motion. You've got to get it out there. 

You've got to start speaking it, sharing it with people and. It's magic. Dots, start to connect and you're able to really see what's meaningful and maybe what's not meaningful. So that's number five. Number six. 

Edit and refine. This is when we really cut stuff out of the talk, you know, like really going through the thing with a fine tooth comb and like just stripping away everything that is not the core message. You know, I think of, was it Michelangelo that carved the David? And I think this priest walks up to him and be like, "how did you do this David? 

What a magnificent work of art. How did you do that?" 

And Michelangelo said "it was easy. I just chipped away at everything that wasn't the David." I love that because that's exactly what I did with this talk. It's exactly what I've done with the keynote that I've created. It's exactly everything in my life. You know, as I'm approaching 40 years old, if I look back, it's been a continual process of stripping everything away that's not the David, that's not my truth. And this was a powerful moment because we stripped away a lot of words and a lot of things that really weren't me. I was pulling from other people. I was regurgitating some smart people's research. And we cut it. We're just like, "get rid of it. We don't need it." And it was the most liberating thing because it started to unearth my message. 

I mean, my authentic message. And as a leader, we have to learn to do that. 

We've got to get out of our heads about what we think leadership should be and how we should communicate to people. We need to learn to trust our gut, trust our instincts, and remove the noise. Chip away everything that's not the David. And just show up fully who you are. That's what editing and refining was for me in this talk. And it's a universal principle that I'm going to encourage you to look at your life, look at how you're showing up. 

What can you cut away that's not truly who you are? 

Where you're trying extra hard to prove yourself and it's just not needed. You don't need it. You don't need that extra credibility. You're enough. 

Bring your full self to the game and nobody will 

question you. Be unapologetic. 

Nobody will question you. 

They will follow you. 

That's what I learned in the editing process of this TED talk. 

Number seven. 

Don't get distracted by what you think is important. And I did this the whole time I was writing the talk. We would get on the calls with my co-creator and we would literally, I would just be mulling over the sentences or even paragraphs in my talk. "God, I just, I don't know if it's this or if it's 

that. Ah, I don't know, you 

know, I'm thinking, what do you think of this?"

And we would spend about 15 minutes on the call talking about it. But what, what she didn't know is I spent hours thinking about this, like in the shower in the morning, before I go to bed. Like all the 

time. Like I would just stress 

over these 

sentences and these paragraphs 

trying to get them right. Every single time that was the case, you know what we did? We took it out. We literally highlighted it in word and we deleted it. It's gone. Every single time. Every single time that I was second guessing a statement or kind of like, "it's not quite right" we just removed it. 

Like, that's an interesting thing, isn't it? Like how much in our lives are we giving our attention to that isn't important, that can just be eliminated, that just can fall at your feet? It's not important at all to the main message of what you're trying to do, the main message of your life, of your leadership, of your business. How much of what you're focused on is meaningless? I'm learning that most of it is. Most of it is. And if we can learn to trust ourselves and just let go of the stuff that isn't working a little bit and stay true to what is. Because that leads me into number eight. Rehearse. Rehearse, rehearse. 

Like this is where the script was written. It's done. The words are on paper and all that was left was to rehearse. 

And what I learned is, it was less about the words and it was more about how I embodied the message. 

And the more I worked with it, the simpler the message got, the more I was able to embody it, the more I stripped away all the complexity and all the noise. And that came through rehearsal. It started in my head, right? Just words on a paper and I'm trying to memorize them, but about 10 rehearsals in 10. 10. I started to feel it more in my body. And this is when the whole performance of the TED talk changed. 

It literally transformed. The words did not change. Seriously, the words did not change. But it was a completely different talk. It was a completely different talk. Why? Because I was starting to own my message. I was starting to be my message. And that is what authentic leadership is all about. When you are just being a leader, people follow you, you have influence, you have impact. But as long as you keep trying to be a leader, trying to prove yourself to others. It doesn't work. And this is the subtle art of leadership, of creativity, is letting it come from within fully. Really embody it. 

 Let it be something that comes more from your heart and less from your head. I didn't know what that meant, years ago, I had a CEO I worked for, and he said, "Zach, you need to learn to lead from the heart." So I tried like hell to lead from the heart and that didn't work. I'm finally starting to understand what it means to lead from the heart. And it's birthed through hours and hours of rehearsal, of just being on your feet, bumping your head, bumping your knee and just like taking the bumps and bruises and over time, the real you starts to emerge. And that's been true for me. 

And it was true in this little mini-cosm of this TED talk. The more I rehearsed, the more I got it on its feet, the more I just started to embody it. So that's number eight. 

Number nine is throw the script in the trash. No safety nets. Play full-out.. That's the only way you're going to trust yourself. So this came the day of the performance. Well, not the day like we arrived in Youngstown and Thursday was rehearsals where we were to do a dry run in the morning and then dressed rehearsal that afternoon. Lights were on. Cameras were rolling. It was going to be the backup footage for the main stage the next day. What I noticed so many people had their scripts in their hands. And I'm sitting in the audience. And like, there's no judgment here because I can see myself in these individuals. 

I was this person until I learned to let go of the safety nets. But there was this kind of, this theme of just gripping onto that script, trying like heck to get it perfect to nail it. And so what I observed was early on in the rehearsal, so many of the speakers were in their head. Like trying to like nail it. And you could tell it wasn't embodied fully. And 

I've just learned that, get, throw the script 

in the trash, like "the hay's in the barn." Like growing up, we had horses and I worked for this rancher, Jerry. And I remember I spent a whole day with him loading hay and putting it in the barn. We had a full barn of hay, and I remember sitting down on a, like one of those wooden rocking chairs late at night after we had dinner and we were just talking and he said that 

he's like, "that hay will feed 

my cattle and my horses for an entire year." Hay's in the barn. The Hay's in the barn. And so that saying has stuck with me and there comes a point where we have to just be like, "you know what? 

The Hay's in the barn. Everything is where it needs to be. I'm set and I'm going to let it rip." And so where could you let go of clinging on to perfection and trying to get it right? And just show up knowing the hay's in the barn, you're ready, you got this. You don't need the script. No more safety nets. 

It's time to play full-out, give it all you got. Bring all of you to the table, to your business, to what you're trying to create. And that made a difference for me. I'll be honest. I didn't even have my script in my bag. I didn't bring it with me. Because I knew if I had it, I would get in my head and I knew that I would take myself out. 

So I didn't even give myself that opportunity. And I'm very pleased at the performance and you'll get to see it here soon. I I'm excited to share it. But I just felt so embodied. And so in the moment in delivering the message, it was, it was one of the most amazing experiences. 

And I believe it's because first and foremost, I trust myself fully a hundred percent. And I'm just inviting you to give yourself that gift, give yourself that opportunity of just trusting yourself. You got this, the hay's in the barn. 

Number 10. This one came 

after the TED talk and 

you know those moments where you just accomplish a big goal? Like big time. Like it's something that a lot of work went into it. A lot of struggle. And then you, you come out the other end victorious, like just, 

you know, fists in the air. "

Hell yeah" moment. That's what it felt like the day of the performance. 

I remember like my coach was there and we just had this moment, like, "Yeah, like. You nailed it." I nailed it and it felt amazing. 

And then we went to dinner and we had a celebration, all of us, all the speakers. And it was a magical moment. And what I realized though, is coming home, you know, the next morning, it's just kind of like, "well, now what?" You know, all of that work, months go into this, and it's over. It's time to go home. And that's always the case. It's time to go home. 

And what I am learning though, is whenever you hit some moments of just like kind of peaks in your life where you're like, "Hey, that was cool," to give yourself some time to come back down, some time to just 

digest all that's happened. 

I normally don't do that. I normally am racing off to the next thing. But I literally gave myself a week, week and a half where I really didn't do a whole lot of anything. 

I, you know, I showed up for my clients. I, I did what I needed to do, but I'm going to be honest, there was a lot of laying around on the couch and it was awesome. Just to kind of just soak it in and let myself wander a little bit. And I think that's the last lesson I want to share with you is where are you not celebrating enough? 

And for me, celebrating can even feel like work. I mean, where are you just letting yourself be and just having some space to just kind of drink it in, to let yourself experience all that you have done over the last several months or years, to just take a moment of appreciation for your work. To rest and recover. Because most of us don't do that. 

I'm not very good at that, but I'm learning that it has a powerful effect on me. But I'm also learning, and maybe this is lesson number 11, a little bonus lesson, I just thought of this, is don't wait too long. Find that next project. 

Steven Pressfield, I think says I remember, I think it was him and it said like, he always has a second book started before he finishes the first book. I kinda like that, like, always know where you're going next, because we're no good to anybody if we don't have something we're throwing ourselves into an arena to be in. Like, this is the Being in the 

Arena podcast. Life is found 

in the arena, in the saddle. And so, yes, celebrate, rest, recover, but don't let too much time go by. And find that next big. challenge that you want to throw yourself into. Find that next project. Because I don't, I don't know. 

There's just something about like, that's what life for me is about. Growth. Running towards stuff. Like it really is the pursuit. I love it. I'm learning to love it. I used to like wish the destination would happen. But I'm learning that. It really is the journey. It really is the practice of creativity, of creation of art of the day to day growth that makes it all the more meaningful. And we only get that when we know what we're pursuing. When we have something in front of us, a big vision to run towards, I call it in my talks, in my workshops, eyes on the bronc. We've got to have that powerful bronc, like right in front of us, that has our attention. Because it just brings a lot of simplicity and a lot of focus to our life. So. I hope you enjoyed these. I hope you got something out of these, these 10 lessons on what I learned when I was writing my TED talk, created my TED talk, delivered my TED talk. But I hope you heard some things that apply to your life, in your leadership. So until next time. Thanks for listening. 

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